Cardinals-Packers Preseason Finale Torches the Under in 80-Point Shootout

Well, that escalated quickly. The Cardinals and Packers combined for 80 points in a preseason finale that made our under 36.5 look like we'd predicted a chess match. Final score: Packers 42, Cardinals 38, and DarkHorse's pick never stood a chance.

The logic was sound—starters sitting, depth charts getting sorted, nobody trying to light up the scoreboard in a meaningless August game. Except someone forgot to tell the backups they were supposed to play vanilla. Both offenses moved the ball like it was October, not the third week of preseason. The Cardinals' injury-depleted running back room? Apparently still functional enough to contribute to 38 points. Green Bay's reserves, who managed 29 yards on 11 carries last week? Suddenly competent.

This wasn't evaluation football—it was a track meet. Maybe the coaching staffs decided to open up the playbook one last time, or maybe the third-stringers were auditioning for practice squads with actual urgency. Either way, 80 combined points in a preseason game is borderline absurd.

The under was cooked by halftime, and it only got worse. Sometimes the safest preseason angle—starters sitting, backups plodding—runs headfirst into chaos. Tonight was chaos. The pick missed, badly, and there's no sugarcoating it. Onto the regular season, where scoring actually matters and totals make sense again.