Yankees Bats Wake Up, Pummel Mariners and Bury the Under

So much for the depleted lineup theory. The Yankees torched Bryce Miller and the Mariners 10-5 at Yankee Stadium, turning DarkHorse's under 8.5 pick into confetti by the fifth inning. Miller, the supposed ace with his pristine 3.08 ERA and 0.95 WHIP, got absolutely shelled—his "elite" stuff apparently lost in translation against a supposedly hobbled Bronx offense missing Judge, Stanton, and Wells. Turns out replacement-level Yankees can still mash when the pitching serves up meatballs.

The game flew past the total early and never looked back, finishing with 15 combined runs—nearly double the 7.8-run projection our model spat out. Warren wasn't much better for New York, but it didn't matter when his offense spotted him a small country's GDP worth of run support. Seattle chipped in five of their own, but this was the Yankees' party from the jump.

The logic was sound on paper: dominant starter, injured lineup, Yankee Stadium's modest park factor. Reality? Baseball doesn't read scouting reports. Miller got rocked, the replacements raked, and the under never had a prayer. Tough miss, but that's why they play the games instead of simulating them in spreadsheets.